Today I am Grateful

I’ve been thinking about a Hero/Heroine’s journey, about how we (metaphorically) go into the woods and come out changed.  Today, I want to share a personal journey about healing and let you know to never give up, just keep moving forward.

This journey is about healing the grief/trauma/loss from my past.  I’ve experienced tremendous loss and suffering in this life, a slow and steady stream of minor and major setbacks & traumas.  The tipping point was the tragic and unexpected death of my father.  As a single mother and full-time graduate student, working 20 hours a week, there wasn’t any space left to feel the pain and loss of his death.  At times I pretty much shut down and took up residence in my head.  Numbed out and got busy.  Very, very busy.  All in an attempt to bypass the enormous pain I was in.  And then I graduated, got still, and started crying.

Yoga was probably the beginning of my healing process.  It was and is through yoga that I remember to breathe, to take care of myself, to practice kindness & compassion & love for myself, so I am complete and balanced and can give this to others.  Yoga reminds me of the joy I find in my physical body, of walks in the woods & mountains & beach, of hugs to loved ones, of breathing deeply on a beautiful clear day, of carrying my baby, of holding the people and things I love, of the magic and joy  putting pen to paper, of visual beauty, delightful senses, and so much more.  Yoga gathers my tears when they drop onto my mat and spins them into something beautiful, new, better.  Yoga keeps me young and strong and healthy.  Whether  you practice yoga or not, there is something for everyone.  Connection with a higher power, meditation, being present with loved ones, being aware of the miracle of every breath, the power and beauty of nature, reaching out to a professional, and always – love!

There is so much pain in the process of grieving that we oftentimes bypass this process.   But it always shows up, again and again in our lives until we move through the middle. Sometimes we don’t see the magic when we’re in the middle of something painful or challenging, and this time of year in particular can trigger lot’s of emotions for all of us.  Going into the holiday season is stressful at times, and it can often remind us of loved ones no longer with us.  Remember to pause, breathe, be still.  Reach out and talk to someone, go for a walk, remember the joy and magic of the season.  It’s ok, you are never alone!

I promise you there is healing.  I am braver, stronger, more confidant and sure of who I am because of this long and often arduous journey.  What a gift!  Today I am grateful.